L. G. Barry - Founder
Shred Guru, and general inspirational figure for the Enchiladas Surfboard movement, L.G. Barry was born in the highlands of Philadelphia where he taught himself to read and write by the age of 16. He has held court with Presidents, Clergy, CEOs, and Criminals. In every encounter these titans of politics, theology, industry, and crime have been left dumbfounded by the Dear Leader’s insights.
So, after making millions in the reverse mortgage industry, L.G. decide to spread his gospel to the masses. As a renowned surf guru, our Dear Leader has the power to uplift and enlighten even the worst duck divers. The first step towards your personal revolution starts with the purchase of the drippiest swag around. Act now or forever be stuck on the beach watching the waves break without you!
Carlos Amanpour - Lead Designer
The unacknowledged Peruvian brother of Christian Amanpour, Carlos doesn’t let his family feud get in the way of designing the freshest threads man has ever laid eyes on. He painstakingly designed both the Drippy T and Drippy Hat over a 3 year period. Inspiration and design insights, such as those illuminated by Carlos, do not come about very often. Carlos regularly journeyed to jungles of his Peru and struggled through multiple emotionally taxing ayahuasca ceremonies at the guidance of world renown jungle shaman, Noto Toto. Without Carlos we are just a T-shirt company - but WITH Carlos we have the drippiest swag in the game today!
Employee #3 - Assistant to the ASSISTANT Regional Manager and senior Janitor
Due to ongoing litigation in the states of Louisiana, Maryland, Iowa, and Michigan we cannot disclose Employee #3’s name at this time. Rest assured, though, that the “alleged” crimes were not violent in nature. Furthermore, we can state with confidence that his robust legal team will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he is innocent of all charges. In the meantime we are excited to have E3 on board and leading the charge in keeping our facilities spic and span.
Linda Vail Goldberg - Supply Chain Assistant Manager (She puts things in boxes/bags)
Linda is sick. She suffers from RBBD (Reverse Benjamin Button’s Disease). While Linda may look like a happy go-lucky 5 year old, she is in fact a mildly demented 88 year old with a shop-lifting habit (she’s not allowed in the public mall in Boca - Raton anymore). She also loves to bring nips to the office for what she calls, “little parties.” However, the “little parties” just entail her hammering a mixed bag of airport quality cocktails throughout the day before passing out on the merchandise. We can usually count on her to fulfill 70% of the orders that cross her desk. We love Linda.
Brenda Aspen Goldberg - Supply Chain Assistant to the ASSISTANT Manager (She puts things in boxes/bags)
So, like her sister Linda, Brenda also suffers from RBBD. However, unlike Linda, Brenda doesn’t drink. No, Brenda prefers drugs. She also likes to make clear that they are NOT medicinal. She’s in it strictly for the fun.
One time, while fulfilling orders, Brenda took a smoke break. She didn’t come back for two weeks. When she walked in the door she went back to filling packages like she’d never left. She was wearing the same clothes and acted like she’d be gone for 15 min. We still don’t know where she went. We love Brenda.
Peter Pin (not to be confused with Peter Pan) - Head of Goth and Operations Intern
So if we’re being honest, no one knows exactly how Peter joined the company but here he is. We do know that he DOES NOT appreciate being called Peter Pan - its very off brand for him. The last time Carlos made such a joke, Peter ambushed him on the toilet and proceed to attempt a reverse exorcism on him (yes that means he tried to put a demon INSIDE Carlos). It was a messy encounter to say the least. On the plus side, Peter keeps us well informed about the rules around being an adult goth. Here is a good site for reference. Also, Peter packs your swag when it goes in the mail. If you find a random goth trinket in the box, its from Peter!
Penny Glonk - Office fire warden, who isn’t allowed to play with matches.
We found Penny with a head injury in the Sun Valley Resort parking lot. While the team is uncertain how the injury was sustained we BELIEVE she may have fallen off a lift earlier in the day. Regardless, our team found her wandering the parking lot repeating “American Dynamite” over and over again. It’s completely unclear what she means but her clear penchant for explosives is concerning. We have a strong ‘no matches’ policy with Penny as a result. However, in order to distract her, we have given her a fireman’s hat and told her she is the fire warden. So far this has sufficed. Time will tell if she can contain her lust for fire. Let’s hope she doesn’t find the matches.
Maureen Le’Turb - Promoted: Head of Sales
Marueen started her career at Enchiladas Surfboards on the dairy side of the business. However, we quickly realized she had a knack for sales.
First, she started selling off office supplies on craigslist. Then it was office furniture. Finally, we caught her trying to sell Peter Pin into some sort of 19th century ghost repository (don’t ask…this was wild).
Once we realised this girl could sell we took away her cheese and focused her energy on selling ES merch.
To date she is the top seller in the company’s history and we believe she has a bright future….so long as she doesn’t back slide into human trafficking.